Always knew my “big-sister” cousin Barbara was part angel – she held that presence even as she left us last Friday, 6pm, at age 70. Struggling for breath, she told loved ones this as she left:

Thank you to everyone
Love you all
Listen to this wonderful story
Love is all it’s about
Happiness is based on our love
Listen with love and loving kindness

Love is good
I’m surrounded by love
& I’ll take that with me

As life would have it, we spent her last good days with her and her husband, Michael, in Chicago, viewing fine art at the Chicago Art Institute, (see last blog) eating great Thai and backyard barbeque, listening to Billy Joel and Elton John concert just a couple of walls away in Wrigley Field. Wonderful, warm, loving visiting with lots family stories, ghosts and chocolates. She wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. Hi, Mom, Aunt Alice, Uncle Matt and everyone else we jointly miss.

I recall Barbara in a sort of dream memory, me maybe age 5, her the only one paying attention to my feeling left out that day. Barbara put me on the seat of her bicycle and I rode a mile down the Melrose Park, Ill, road to a shop where she bought me an ice cream. Found! One small girl who now stood in the beaming affection of her elder cousin, sweet, smart, funny, tender-hearted Barbara, a Mom, yoga teacher, ESL teacher, loving daughter. You will not soon be forgotten.

And thanks to my sister, Meg, who suggested we offer a Metta prayer to Barbara at Spirit Rock this am. I read her last words and the day’s teacher, Donald Rothberg, asked for that to be read again at closing.

Thank you again, Barbara, for such encouraging words from the brink, helping us know that in the end nothing really matters except perhaps what you did with your journey. Did you love well? That lasts.

I plan to return to Spirit Rock for the next daylong led by Jack Kornfield. Admittedly my favorite teacher, Jack will soon take a group of people with deep pockets to the Middle East. Each will donate $25,000 to Jack’s pick as the most useful peace organization there. You GO Jack!
For more on Spirit Rock (do get acquainted!) go to www.spiritrock.org